Growing up, boys and girls are often segregated, restricting them to socialize solely with individuals of their own gender, learning a distinct culture as well as their gender’s norms. This results in differences in communication between men and women, inclining both genders to communicate for contrasting reasons. For example, men are more likely to communicate as a way to maintain their status and independence, while women tend to view communication as a path to create friendships and build relationships. More over, For men, communication is a way to negotiate for power, seek wins, avoid failure and offer advice, among other things. For women, communication is a way to get closer, seek understanding and find equality or symmetry.
In non-verbal behavior women will nod their head to show that they are listening. Men leave the conversation thinking that a head nod means agreement and will be surprised to find out that the woman didn’t agree at all. When a woman is speaking to a man and he does not say anything and stays in neutral body language to show that he is listening, a woman will interpret that as the man being bored or not understanding what she is saying. This can lead the woman to become very uncomfortable and repeat what she is saying or ask the man each time if he understands what she is saying. The man then interprets that as insecurity, or talking to much and which then lead him to think she is not assertive or confident to be a leader. Women will actually use more direct eye contact in conversation to create relationship and connection while many men take that as a challenge to their power or position. Women will also approach a man from the front while men often approach from the side at an angle, which is how each of them tends to stand or sit when talking to others. Men interpret the face to face as too personal, or aggressive and women will interpret the talking side to side as though he is not being upfront or even hiding something from her.
There are big differences in the way men and women communicate, and the influencing factors are very complicated. We need to recognize this difference, adjust our thinking on the basis of mutual understanding, focus on communication, learn to listen, find appropriate differences, and reduce various obstacles and dilemmas caused by poor communication. Thereby able to enjoy the fun of communication.
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